“Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another.” ~ Alfred Adler

What if this were happening to me?

I believe this is a crucial question for leaders to ask when engaging with their team members. It unlocks the power of empathy which is caring, connecting and trusting.

Empathy is likened to walking a mile in the other person’s shoes. It is the ability to view a conversation or a situation from their perspective. It is taking time to suspend personal judgement and opinions in order to understand your colleague.

Empathy is reception, reflection and validation, not projection.

It is the reception of another person’s thoughts, ideas, opinions, emotions and expressions. It is the mindful reflection and intentional validation of their beliefs and experiences.

I have personally struggled with being empathetic as a leader. I have a task-oriented nature. This is a great attribute for producing results. However, it can be an overbearing characteristic for a leader.

I can recount several instances when my focus was primarily on results and seldom on the relationship. A team member would approach me for guidance on a project and I would ask for them to come back later — I needed to wrap up something else before I had “free” time.

Or an employee would request a flexible work arrangement during a peak season and I could not afford for them to be out of the office. I am not proud of this, but honestly, there were times when I was not open to my team.

Times when I was not willing to listen to their concerns.

This did not happen all the time, but that does not matter. It happened … and people are much more likely to remember how you made them feel than anything else.

A leader’s job is to make their employees feel valued and appreciated. This is difficult to achieve when the leader lacks empathy.

What is the value of an empathetic leader? The value of an empathetic leader lies in creating a culture where employees feel safe to express themselves, are engaged in collaborative projects, and are committed to achieving the company’s goals.

Empathetic leaders have a competitive advantage in today’s workplace. They are leaders that people want to follow. Why? Because empathy conveys caring, it creates strong connections and builds trust.

Empathy conveys caring. The best way to boost employee morale is to clearly demonstrate that you care for your employees. Caring is achieved by investing time listening to your employees, responding to their inquires and addressing their concerns. Empathetic leaders learn the language of the team members, engage in meaningful conversations and honor the relationships above all things.

Empathy creates strong connections. Empathetic leaders can relate to their employees’ experiences and emotions. They communicate from the heart on an emotional level, not just intellectually. They authentically share personal stories that humanize the situation and build bridges of understanding.

Empathy builds trust. There is a saying that we trust people we know and like. Empathy is the gateway to trust. Empathetic leaders establish that they care about others and develop amicable relationships. People feel safe, appreciated and validated. A positive track record and credibility have been established. People believe in your character and respect your leadership. They know that you are reliable as a leader, and that is worth its weight in gold.

What do you define as the value of an empathetic leader? Please share your thoughts in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.