I was recently asked, “what is my greatest fear?” Several things came to mind including spiders, heights, rejection and taking risks. The later of which is the greatest.
There is vulnerability in taking risks. The ever-present question of “what if this doesn’t work?” lurks in the corner of our minds. It is an awesome question when your goal is to prepare for failure and put some preventative strategies in place ahead of time.
But … it can also be a show-stopper.
Sometimes this question emerges from a place of fear not prevention. Specifically fear of failure. We are paralyzed by doubt and hesitate to step outside of our comfort zone.
Failure is perceived as something to avoid rather than something to embrace.
Successful people know that failure is inevitable. And that success is only achieved through failures. The phrase “fail fast, fail often and fail forward” is offered as encouragement for risk-taking, recovering and rebounding.
Yet, many of us still hold back.
I have found that the fear of failure is often internalized and personalized. Your best position is to not take it personally. You will not be the first person to fail and certainly not the only person.
There is a strong distinction between failing in the moment and being a failure. Separating the two concepts helps develop a growth-mindset in which a failing moment becomes a teachable moment.
Consider what is the word you most likely associate with failure … doom, gloom or bloom?
Doom implies you have a fatal mindset about failing. You may believe it is the worst thing that can happen. Perhaps you think that the repercussions far outweigh the rewards. You might even reason that if the idea does not work and you are reprimanded, then why should you take a risk? You may as well leave well enough alone.
Gloom is still a pessimistic point of view. You may be willing to take the risk and believe the odds for failure are extremely high. You are likely to think, I’ll try it once and when it does not work, I will never try it again. In this case, you miss out on the opportunity to be resilient and improve your skills.
Bloom suggests you have an opportunistic mindset about failing. Your perspective is I will gain valuable insights that can be leveraged in the future. You are more likely to take a risk because there are gains if your idea works or not. Either way, you are a winner. There is a lesson learned and a golden nugget salvaged from the experience.
Mary Kay Ash said that “people fail forward to success.” To fail forward, make a practice of evaluating the experience and writing down your lessons learned. Here is a seven-point framework from John C. Maxwell that you can use to fail forward.
Ask yourself the following questions and keep your answers in a journal. Review your responses periodically taking note of patterns and successes.
- What caused the failure: the situation, someone else or self?
- What successes are contained in the failure?
- What can I learn from what happened?
- Am I grateful for the experience?
- How can I turn this into a success?
- Who can help me with this issue?
- Where can I go from here?
What is your advise for responding to failure? Please share your thoughts in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.
Evelyn Summerville
I write about living and leading with excellence
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Sources:
Maxwell, John C. Failing Forward – Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success. Nelson (Thomas) Publishers,U.s, 2007.
