What Makes a Friendship Great?

“Friends are the family you choose for yourself” ~ unknown

Like most, I’ve met people in school, church and work. I’ve even met people at social engagements and networking events. And let’s not forgot my neighborhood. Some of those encounters were a quick hello and good bye. Others were lasting.

Connection happens quickly. Something sparks inside. In a split second I feel a strong kinship to certain people. Instinctively I know that we will be friends. I choose to befriend this person. I choose to extend myself beyond this fleeting moment and build something special. Something that transcends distance and time.

Friendships are relationships. Friends require attention. Relationships need nurturing. Healthy friendships are built on trust, open communication and caring hearts. Healthy, nurtured friendships are beautiful. Yet, they are often lost in the fray of life. It’s easy to lose sight of the very reason why you choose someone as a friend, especially when you’re looking the other way.

I recently facilitated a workshop for a community organization. The emphasis was friendship. The leader wanted to stress the sisterly bond of women who work diligently to have a positive impact in the community. She realized that in the hustle and bustle of service, work and family, friendships are often overlooked. Projects and goals forge to the forefront and little time, if any, is devoted to relationship building. Yet, on this day, relationships were paramount.

In fact, one of the team building exercises I designed was to compose an acrostic using the word friendship. My heart was stirred as I listened to these women share the ideal attributes of a friend. I thought about my friends. The beautiful, intelligent and caring people who fill my days with joy and laughter. The people who celebrate the good times and coming running immediately in moments of distress. Words like fun, reliable and daring filled the room with a new air while this amazing group of women remembered the tie that really binds them together — friendship and sisterhood.

This is how I was moved to create my own acrostic. Answering the ever important question … what makes a friendship great?

Flexibility – great friends go with the flow. They understand that plans are not etched in stone and are willing to adapt to what is needed in the moment.

Resilience – great friends quickly recovery from upsets and setbacks. They don’t let momentary glitches derail the relationship.

Inspiration – great friends light a fire inside of you. They believe in your potential and are your loudest cheerleaders.

Energizing – great friends fill you up with their positivity. They add substantially more value to your life. They do not deplete you or your resources.

Nurturing – great friends handle the relationship with TLC (tender loving care). They take time for phone calls, lunch, dinner, and even amazing vacations.

Dependable – great friends are people you can count on. They have integrity. They do what they promise.  They come through for your time and time again.

Supportive – great friends lend a helping hand. They cook for you when you are down. They come to your events with smiles on their faces. They are only a phone call away.

Humorous – great friends laugh with you at the funny things in life. They lighten the mood. They remind you not to take yourself or situations to seriously.

Intriguing – great friends are interested in you and your life. They are curious about your endeavors. They ask sincere questions.

Patience – great friends are slow to anger. They give you opportunities to express yourself without constant interruptions. They wait on you to get ready even when it seems like you’re taking all the time in the world.

Great friends are a blessing. I thank God for my true friends and our great friendships.

Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash